Pictures & Promises

Pictured above, l-r: Pat, Mom, Marilyn & Linda

Mom's sisters made it here safely a little before 3 PM. Mom had an opportunity to spend some time alone with them.

The sisters brought a bunch of old photos and we've had a fun afternoon reminiscing and storytelling. We found one picture Mom had given to Linda back in high school. Apparently, Linda was jealous of Mom's clothes. And looking at all those old pictures from the 60's, who wouldn't be?! So, on the back of Mom's class picture, she wrote Linda a note that says, "When I die, you can have my entire wardrobe."

Looks like we found this picture and promise just in time! ;)

Seriously, we praise God for bringing our loved ones to us as we spend these final moments with Mom.

Stephen Made It Home

Sadly, he had to drive Mr. Hall's Lexus to get here. Complete, total bummer? Not! :)

The Clock is Ticking

Mom's health continues to decline, so today, rather than getting the g tube, she became a hospice patient. She is still in the same room at St. Luke's, but they removed her IV and discontinued her medications. The focus is now 100% on keeping her comfortable.

In addition to the changes in her breathing, her body has begun to have involuntary muscle tics. Dr. Bell said she likely has just 2-3 days left here with us.

Mom has put up a courageous fight and she is worn out. It's easy for us to see that she will be better off in Heaven than here. Still, we're not anxious for her to leave.

Please pray with us that Stephen and Mom's sisters are able to make it here before she goes home to be with Jesus.

Coping

Thoughts from Kim, your blogger:

When Mom became sick, Pastor Morrow was teaching a series on prayer on Wednesday nights and he covered some verses from John 14 that grabbed my attention.

First, I love the fact that twice in this chapter, verses 1 and 27, Jesus says, “Let not your heart be troubled…” When something is repeated in Scripture, the topic sandwiched between bears increased significance. So, nestled between these verses we find in verse 13, “And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”

Pastor Morrow taught about how to bring our troubles to the Lord asking not just so we can have our prayers answered the way we want them answered, but rather asking that God will work through our situation so He can be glorified.

I really latched onto this concept and it has totally changed my prayer life. Instead of dwelling on me personally and what I've wanted to see happen with Mom, I've taken this situation to the Lord asking Him to work in Mom’s life in such a way that others will know His greatness.

Though Mom’s body is wracked with cancer, her faith is a beacon. I have never seen her upset or anxious about this path God has chosen for her. When she first got sick, she reminded our family of Proverbs 3:5-6 and told us that God put her on this path for a reason. She told us she is trusting Him and she needs us to trust Him, too. There are times when I want to ask why and question God, but my Mom’s words always come back to me. Either you are trusting, or you are doubting, and Mom set the bar high when she made it clear that doubting God with this is not an option.

My human nature would really like to fix this problem for my Mom, but since I cannot, I decided to focus on the elements of this situation for which I can give thanks.

I am thankful for time. I feel blessed that Mom’s illness has been one that gave us time with her. It is hard to see her suffering physically, but I am thankful for all the words, memories and warm moments our family has been able to have with her this past year.

I am thankful for our family and the closeness we share.

I am thankful for my Mom’s testimony. She has set such an example for all of us in action first, then word. It is easy to follow Mom’s example because she has never asked us to be more than she is herself. She first becomes what she wants us to be, then lives it before us, challenging us at times without even words.

I am thankful for a God who is so good that He sent His own Son to die on the cross making it possible for us to go to Heaven. Knowing that I am going to be reunited with my Mom and that we are going to be together much longer than we will be apart gives me great comfort.

I am thankful for the many brothers and sisters in Christ around the globe who are lifting us up in prayer.

I am thankful for each person who has stopped by to visit, sent flowers or dropped a word of encouragement in the mail.

I am thankful for those who have given financially, prepared meals or called to say they care.

I am thankful for a God who answers my prayers. Mom is going to be healed either here or in Heaven, and I am thankful that her days of suffering are numbered either way.

Morning Report

Pictured Above: Dad, Mom and the stuffed puppy from Mom's student Caleb.

Mom's breathing has been labored off and on since late yesterday afternoon. Her sleeping respiratory rate has been anywhere from 18-32 breaths per minute. She was able to get a pretty good night's rest though. She woke up a couple of times in the night, but went right back to sleep.

Her vitals look better this morning:

Temp 96.8 (normal for her)
BP 110/70
Pulse 97
Resp 18
O2 Sat 96%

Mom would rather have the drainage tube in her stomach than in her nose and throat, so she is planning to pursue the gastrostomy procedure (g tube) today. The doctors need to assess whether she is a viable candidate for the procedure. If she opts to proceed, she will be given local anesthesia (rather than general) due to her health.

Mom and Dad also need to make some big decisions today regarding Mom's care going forward.

We thank the Lord that Phil, Tanya, Joe and Bethany made it home safe last night. Stephen will be traveling home later this afternoon.

There is a lot going on here right now. As we have said so many times before, we covet your prayers.

Blessings!

From Bad to Worse

As bad as things have been for Mom lately, today has been even worse. Dr. Warren had the nurses put an NG tube in again. On the list of possibilities, Mom least favored the NG tube; however, it was the best option for immediate relief.

We are still waiting for Dr. Warren to make his rounds. He usually rounds in the late afternoon or early evening. We will provide more information once we have seen him.

Her vitals right now:

BP 120/70
Pulse 111
RR 18
Temp 100.4
O2 Sat 93 (Room Air)

Phil, Tanya, Joe & Bethany are traveling home today. Stephen will be traveling home tomorrow and Mom's sisters are coming on Friday. Please pray for their safety.

Oh, Ruts!

Mom has had another rough day in the hospital. She is still not able to keep anything down.

We have talked to Dr. Warren and Dr. Bell at length about her options at this point.

One possibility is to have the gastrostomy, try to continue eating and keep hydrated, then having chemo as scheduled in February. If she does this, she will still be fighting the nausea and her doctors are pretty sure she will stay in this rut. The chemo she is receiving is palliative and so we must weigh the benefits against the reality of results.

Another option is for Mom to go on hospice and quit worrying so much about trying to eat and drink. The focus would shift to keeping Mom comfortable. Dr. Bell says Mom could have a few weeks left with us if she goes this route.

Please smother us in prayer asking that God would give Mom the wisdom to make the right decision and that we will have the grace to accept her answer.

Decisions, Decisions

Well, Dr. Bell from Palliative Care was in around four today with his assistant, Sela. They came with the results of Mom's CA 125 . It had dropped slightly, from 4238 to 3900. We were hoping for a bigger number there, but we'll take what we can get! Now it's up to Mom and Dr. Warren to decide whether or not to continue chemo treatments.

Mom has had several bouts of nausea today, and is not able to keep any food down. Mom and Dr. Warren are discussing the possibility of inserting a gastrostomy tube in her stomach to help with this. We will update you as we know more.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers! May God bless you all!

God Has A Sense of Humor

Saturday, Mom was pretty groggy from her meds and she was having lots of trouble with nausea and being sick. When her dinner tray came, there was a roll and some soft fruit pieces. Mom nibbled and really struggled to keep it down.

After dinner, Kim asked if Mom had been able to read her Bible yet. Mom said she had been too tired and asked Kim to read to her. They discussed what and where, and Mom finally said, "Read anything. It's all good."

It was January 23rd, so Kim decided to start with the 23rd Psalm. Since Mom, Sarah and Kim all knew it by heart, they played ping-pong quoting the Psalm. They had a good time stumbling over each other taking turns with the words.

When they finished, Kim read Proverbs 23. The first few verses were about food and then Kim read verse 8: "The morsel which thou hast eaten thou shalt vomit up..." It was so funny considering Mom's situation...they laughed until their sides hurt.

It was prophetic, too. Though Mom tried to keep down her dinner, she ended up losing it.

Regardless, they all appreciated the laugh. God is good!

Monday Momness

Mom is still in the hospital. She is not running a fever now and has not been sick to her stomach since 1:00 PM yesterday. She ate most of a piece of french toast and part of a banana this morning. She does still have nausea, but she is keeping her food down. She has some faint bowel sounds and we have her up walking today.

Dr. Warren is checking her CA125 to see whether it has changed. We may be able to get a clue about what is going on once we know how/if Mom has responded to the Doxil.

We have not had any word yet about Mom being discharged. Dr. Bell from Palliative Care is going to see Mom this afternoon to discuss things she can do to try to feel better.

We hope you never tire of hearing that we appreciate your prayers, love and concern for our family. We have all been so encouraged by your kindness.

News From the Hospital

Dr. Warren kept Mom in the hospital today.

She has been running a fever and has some nausea even though she's getting her meds through her IV now. Dr. Warren feels it is the cancer itself and not the chemo causing the nausea. He also said that Mom has a partial blockage somewhere in her bowel.

Mom is still having trouble eating. She ate a bit for lunch and got sick to her stomach a little later in the afternoon. She picked at her dinner plate eating just a few bites and says she feels like she is going to be sick again.

Mom's nurse is going to contact Dr. Warren to see what else they can do, but we haven't heard back yet.

As soon as we know more, we'll let you know.

Mom Admitted to St Luke's

Mom has had such a rough time with nausea and heartburn this week and hasn't been able to keep much down. The nausea was happening so often we thought by now she must be dehydrated from all the vomiting.

After talking with Dr. Warren's office this afternoon, Mom was admitted to St. Luke's. They have run quite a few lab tests and taken x-rays of her chest and abdomen. Thankfully, she does not have another ileus (kink in her bowel), but she was dehydrated and had a fever. She also has a urinary tract infection and fluid on one of her lungs.

The IV fluids have helped her feel better already and the meds given through her IV are helping calm the nausea and heartburn. She ate a bit of food for dinner and kept it down. The nausea meds make her drowsy, so hopefully she will be able to get some rest tonight.

Dr. Warren will assess her tomorrow and depending on how she's doing, she may be able to go home.

Thanks for praying. We'll keep you posted. ;)

CA125 Update

Mom saw Dr. Warren on Saturday so she asked him about her elevated CA125. He said is it cause for concern.

At this time, she is planning to go in for labs a few days before her next scheduled chemo (2/15). If this last round of chemo hasn't helped bring down her CA125, she will not continue chemo with Doxil.

Having her lab results a couple of days early will give Mom time to decide what to do next...possibly trying yet another chemo drug.

Please keep praying!

Ups & Downs

Mom did have chemo today. Her labs looked pretty good; however, we found out late this afternoon that her CA125 is quite high - 4,238. We will get more information about this from Dr. Warren on Monday.

Mom is trying to eat and has maintained her weight for a week now, but she weighs 15 pounds less than she did a month ago. She has a day or two where she feels a little better, then a day or two where she has a lot of nausea and feels worse. Mom says it feels like she takes one step forward and two steps back.

Sometimes it is hard to know for sure what to make of the situation, but Mom's chin is still up and her sense of humor remains intact. She is such a trouper!

Better Days!

Mom has had a string of better days for which we are thankful. She is planning to have chemo again this Friday if all her lab numbers look good enough.

We'll keep you posted...

More Trouble

Well, Mom has been home a few days and everything was going much better; however, the past two days have been a little rough. She is nauseated again and seems to be weaker.

If you catch this post today, would you join with us in lifting Mom up in prayer? God knows her needs and He is, after all, the Great Physician.

Blessings!

Discharged!

Mom is doing SO much better. Dr. Warren just saw her and is sending her home this afternoon. The blockage has improved, her appetite is growing and she is regaining her strength.

She is so excited she's swinging her legs on the side of the bed. :) It's fun to see her so happy...like a kid in a candy shop.

Movin' in the Right Direction

Mom is doing much, much better.

She tolerated the liquid diet well enough that they took out her ng tube this afternoon. Right after that, she got a plate of macaroni & cheese. Real food!

Her doctor said today her x-ray shows improvement in the ileus and that is the news we've been waiting all week to hear.

We are hopeful Mom will get out of the hospital soon. We are still waiting to see how well she tolerates solid food.

In any case, things are movin' in the right direction and we are thankful for your prayers and concern.

Blessings!